TOP 10 laughably bad scenes in 2017 horror movies (so far)

As some of you might now, I’ve written a top 10 spookiest scenes post to celebrate Friday the 13th appropriately.

While recalling the chilling sequences in horror movies I watched this year, I also remembered some of the worst ones. However, with this post I decided to list up the 10 most hilariously awful moments in horror films that came out in 2017. Therefore, I left aside those plain awful or boring scenes, in order to focus on and get some enjoyment from some involuntarily bad bits. I hope you will enjoy!

10 Dance like crazySplit. I was very keen on the latest Shyamalan’s movie in my review. However, upon watching it again, I noticed some elements that didn’t quite work: as such, when Kevin – the villain with split personality – puts up a dance scene in front of the main girl, I laughed out loud. This scene is hilarious, but I’m not sure whether it tries to be or not…

Leatherface 39 Leatherface trying to speakLeatherface. On top of a terribly executed movie, the otherwise rather decent final climax gets ruined by the clumsy, awkward attempt to speak by the titular character whose mouth has been previously sewn shut. As the audience, we are supposed to feel for and be creeped out by him, but the scene is so poorly made that Leatherface looks more like a teenager on MDMA (or like Sylvester Stallone…) rather than the unsettling antihero he is.

8 Chucky minions Cult of Chucky. The 7th instalment of this campy franchise was surprisingly enjoyable, in my opinion. However, when three little possessed dolls with different haircuts surround the weird psychiatrist, I couldn’t help but laugh all the air out of my lungs: they reminded me so much of the minions from the animated Despicable Me franchise.

7 Oh shit, the train! The Bye Bye Man. This January movie is hilariously bad and contains so many WTF?! moments. Also, it has an inexplicable fetish for trains. Thus, when one of the main characters has a vision caused by the titular Bye Bye Man, she runs on a railway and gets run over by a train. A huge, fat, loud train that she didn’t see coming until it was too late: the girl’s face right before she dies is priceless and it seriously made my day!

Raw GIF6 I’m a tasty girlRaw. This one might be hard to sell, because people seem to love this artsy coming-of-age French horror. I hated it, even though I’ll never deny it’s a rather well-made film from a technical standpoint. Anyway, when Justine discovers her cannibal tendencies, she starts to bite herself up while having sex with her roommate. People might find that disturbing, but the way that scene was handled made me chuckle quite a bit.

5 Catfight – Wish UponI hated this factory product, guys. This movie is just plain silly and boring. Fortunately, though, when the lead girl pulls up a slap-fight with a cheerleader in the school cafeteria, the audience can burst out in laughter. Surely, this isn’t what the director tries to achive. But hey, it makes for a ridiculously bad and memorable sequence!

Bye Bye Man 24 Wink wink little starThe Bye Bye Man. This movie makes me laugh so hard that I think it will become one of my guilty pleasures. In the “pinnacle of tension” (the bunny ears are very much needed), one of the guys haunted by the Bye Bye Man winks to a police officer played by Trinity from The Matrix (I’ve no idea what Carrie-Ann Moss is doing in this flick, by the way) that winks back at him. Their surprised reactions cracked me up: it’s the Bye Bye Man who made them wink! Such an evil entity… what is he going to do next? Make them clap hands? I don’t know if I’d have the guts to stand it…

3 CGI spiders are a recipe for disaster The Evil Within. After a 15-year-long making process, The Evil Within came out as one of the most pleasant surprises of 2017. However, a CGI spider crafted with technology that dates back in 2003 pops up on screen in two sequences and it just looks… awful. Laughably awful, that is. Hey, if you’ve seen IT – the 1990 miniseries – you know that this idea never works!

2 Killings by the lake Lake Alice. Oh man, I love this movie! This indie, straight to DVD piece of garbage features some of the worst acting, story and killings I have ever seen. But they are hilarious! Mostly, the bloodless killings that turn this flick into the worst slasher ever made and, in my opinion, an amazing “so bad, it’s great” movie. Seriously, Lake Alice needs to be seen to be believed!

1 “I’ll do the fingering” Alien: Covenant. Perhaps, you saw this one coming. Covenant is not, per se, a terrible movie, but it’s definitely the most disappointing one I have seen in 2017, as a big fan of the Alien franchise. This scene, and the entire sequence, takes itself so seriously but it’s just plain laughable. The “I’ll do the fingering” quote probably marks the most hilarious moment I experienced in a theatre the entire year!

Advertisements

Cannibalism meets coming-of-age story in the latest French success. Raw – movie review

Raw is a French-Belgium film written and directed by Julia Ducournau, at her debut behind the camera in a feature-length film.

Substantially marketed as the new Martyrs (2009), according to the legend that people fainted and puked in the earliest screenings, audiences went into Raw expecting an extremely violent, gruesome horror film filled with stomach-turning scenes and I-can’t-watch-this moments.

Instead, Ducournau’s film is a coming-of-age tale with cannibalism elements thrown in the mix.

Raw 2Raw tells the story of rookie student and lifelong vegetarian Justine, who arrives at a veterinary school to start college. A college that looks more like a prison, where the rookies are bullied and obligated to go through different and messed-up challenges. One of those consists of eating a raw rabbit kidney, which Justine refuses to do, at first, and then reluctantly accepts pushed by her older sister Alexia.

From that moment on, Justine develops an insane passion for raw meat that definitely goes too far…

Despite Raw was mis-marketed and the trailers made it look a restless run throughout violence and blood, it’s been acclaimed by audience and critics as one of the best horror movies in recent years.

In all honesty, I struggle to understand why.

Extremely slow-paced, the plot drags from scene to scene, with elongated shots, slow – and quite unrealistic – dialogues, nauseous sequences of rave parties where stroboscopic lightening and delirious music that will give you nothing but migraine.

Raw 3Also, the acting is quite slow and somewhat frustrating; whether it’s because of the script or the cast’s skills, every character in this movie is unlikable. Although, to be fair, Garance Marillier (who portrays Justine) conveys a wide range of emotions and carries the plot along fairly well.

However, my biggest issues with Raw consist of more than that.

Raw GIF.gifFirst of all, everything looks highly implausible. I know, I know: it’s a horror-drama about cannibalism, I shouldn’t expect everything to make sense. Nonetheless, as I stated previously in other reviews, each and every single element should be realistic within the universe of a film. And, in this regard, Raw fails on every level: the unexplained absence of adults, the rampant craziness of the students – who do drugs, destroy facilities, throw food to each other without being stopped by any form of security, the constant lack of explanations make for a very unreliable story.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I understand that the director went for the dream-like, somewhat oneiric route. Nevertheless, this premise might work in a movie like It Follows (2014), set in a timeless and undefined world, but it doesn’t in Raw, where the audience is supposed to believe the plot is taking place in contemporary times.

Which is my second biggest issue with this film. Its atmosphere, backed up by cinematography and photography, makes for an artsy film that is artsy-fartsy for the pure sake of it. In other words, it looks frustratingly pretentious and tries too hard to set itself apart from the other horror flicks.

Again, I must reiterate that I’ve got no problem with artsy horror movies (The Eyes of my Mother – is one of my favourite films in 2017), but the style must be supported by strong and effective contents. Otherwise, the product is a flop. And, sorry to say that, Raw is a flop – at least in my opinion.

However, there are a couple of redeeming qualities, namely the first plot twist – there is also a second one at the very end, but it’s predictable and, again, unsatisfying. Also, the locations are amazing and the fact that the entire movie was shot on location is to be praised.

Furthermore, the absence of false-scares and the lack of gratuitous brutality are a pleasant surprise.

Nevertheless, the standout in Raw is the score: one of the best I’ve listened to the whole year, but unfortunately inadequate to the film. Still, I recommend everyone to download it, it’s worth listening to!

Overall, though, Raw is a quite boring film, featuring an unbalanced pace, senseless sequences, disappointing acting and an uninteresting story. Sincerely, I found it very overhyped and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, unless you want to watch it purely out of curiosity. Cheers!